The View from my Window

I sit down at my desk every morning and watch the world outside the window. The view is unchanging, so it’s nice when the weather comes and breaks up the monotony. This morning, it’s a mild 68 F. There’s a steady drizzle—the kind where you feel tiny invisible water droplets splashing on your skin. The air feels crisp, a sure sign that fall is coming to Blacksburg.

I’ve always enjoyed fall. It gives me an excuse to wear sweaters and drink spiced apple cider and in the early mornings, the lawn is crunchy with the frost from the night before. I used to be able to spend all day in the woods running around, crunching through the piles of leaves and watching as they changed colors. Someone told me it was good luck to catch one as they fell, so I made a point of doing that. I climbed trees, biked, listened to music and did a lot of nothing.

My mom told me one day about how she loved watching the snow fall outside the window while she worked. To her, it was as mesmerizing as looking into a crackling fireplace and watching the embers glow. I like the snow too. I like laying down in an empty field and watching the snow flakes falling, and enjoying the muted sounds they made as they hit the ground.

Maybe this makes me sound simple, or dumb. It’s hard to tell sometimes whether or not I’m either of those.

I live a very distracted life. I spend time on my phone because it’s less effort than living in the present moment and creating new things, but it doesn’t feel good. My writing voice is pretty dry, so when I post something, I tend to delete it soon after because I can’t stand the thought of anyone else seeing this. My thoughts tend to drift a lot—I jump from place to place, memory to memory, and sometimes it’s just fun to try and follow my thoughts in writing for as long as I can.

I don’t think anyone will gain any insight into my life by reading this post, but that’s okay. Mostly I’m just tired of trying to control my thoughts. Trying to stay focused all the time or trying not to sound weird, and then sounding weird anyway.